A Letter to Lena Haloway

**Heads up - this little letter has plenty of spoilers for the Delirium trilogy. Don't read if you don't want to be spoiled!

You can also check out my spoiler-free review of Requiem (although it will spoil you for Pandemonium and Delirium).

Dear Lena,

I hope you know that I mean all of this in the best way possible, after we have gone through so much together. All the way from Delirium to Requiem, and the novellas in between.

I'm always rooting for ya. I GET WHY this was so hard for you. You try to escape with the love of your life, he gets shot and you run away. You're convinced he's dead, only for him to miraculously show up again when you're with the rebound boy with no explanation as to WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO HIM. Then he continues to ignore and shun you, as if this is all your fault somehow?

I don't get him either.

But that's exactly the point. We don't GET him or why he's acting that way. I do get you. I read three books from your point of view. The thing is, the two of you would benefit so much from a little heart to heart. A little bit of give and take. Although it's likely going to take a lot of GIVING from both of you.

I really don't get why you're complaining about Alex sitting with some girl, when you're the one hanging off of Julian and engaging him in PDA whenever Alex walks into a room. At that point, I can understand why he'd try to stay away from you.

Also, for future reference: the worst time to have a heart to heart is in the middle of a battlefield in your old hometown. Probably not the best idea. Just my two cents.

I can understand being drawn to Julian at first. He's definitely likable and curious enough. When everything HURTS SO MUCH and you can't have what you really want, my gut reaction is to seek out any kind of comfort at all. But let's call a spade a spade, and acknowledge that Julian is the rebound boy, yes? He may be a pretty fantastic rebound boy but there was never any chance to get away from either boy.

Maybe it really is true that Alex has changed so much and so have you, that the two of you aren't the same and won't work the way you did in Delirium. (But I don't believe that.) And you may have TRIED to ignore the Alex-thoughts in the back of your head (and your heart) but you kept coming back to him, even in Pandemonium. And it just isn't fair to Julian, in that case, like you acknowledge at one point. But I just don't see how this is second love at all- it barely looks like love at all, beyond friendship.



ChristasBooks said...

Yes to all of this! There were so many times while reading Requiem that I would get so frustrated and just want them (Alex and Lena) to actually have a conversation. Why does that never occur to people?!

Ashley @ Book Labyrinth said...

Agreed, I didn't like how this all played out at all. How did they not have a proper conversation?! I know it's awkward, but you would think that it would have happened at some point. And while I love Julian, I don't see why Lena was "conflicted" at all. Julian was definitely the rebound, like you pointed out, and it seems clear that she loved Alex the whole time, she was just trying to let him go because it's not healthy to hold on to someone who is gone. So when Alex reappears, you would think that she would cling to him and make him listen to all she's been through and want to hear, in return, every little detail of what happened to him. I don't know, maybe it's just easier to see from an outside perspective that while Julian is sweet he was never a true love for Lena.

Brenna said...

Exactly. This MAY just be me projecting what I would do in the same situation, but having read the short story from Alex's POV and all three books from Lena's - I'm just surprised that neither seemed interested in actually trying to talk it out. At all. It frustrates me when characters do this (and to be fair, we do see it all the time).

I'm not sure my heart will ever quite recover from this.

Anonymous said...

Yes! Oh, this letter just totally made my day! Maybe it's just because I love Alex so much, but I can't fault him for his reaction to Lena. He shows up (thank god) not dead, and sees Lena--the one thing that kept him going over the last horrible year--in the arms of another man (err, boy). Sometimes it's easier to lock your heart away, you know? So yes, a heart-to-heart was what they needed, but Lena needed to be the one to sit him down and make him listen. She owed him that. I kind of feel bad for Julian though... Poor guy.

Jen said...

Oh my gosh, YES. I had a lot of problems with Requiem, chief among them that Alex and Lena didn't TALK. Another being that we never saw any resolution for Julian (I mean... we barely got resolution re: ALEX)

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